So you’re stuck in a rut. You have a to-do list a mile long but nothing ever seems to get done. You know what you have to do to start that project, to make your home nicer, to take the next step in your career &you generally know what you need to do to make yourself happier or more content, but you’re stuck. Seemingly frozen in place, never taking that step forward, but you’re not really sure why. You give your reasons. No time. No money. Too tired. But you know in your heart that these are nothing more than excuses. So why aren’t you moving?
Well I don’t know about you, but I’ve always been a flitter. I have a lot of interests & a lot of things I want to do with my life, but I seem frozen in place. Which thing do I pick? Which path do I take? How can I choose one thing over everything else? I simply don’t have time to do it all!!! (If this sounds familiar, I feel ya!)
I read something interesting this week in “I could do anything if only I knew what it was – by Barbara Sher”. She said that flitters (or scanners as she calls them) have one of two problems. The first being, that by not picking any one thing & doing lots of things as hobbies, they don’t have to label themselves as either a musician, writer, artist, business owner etc and therefore release themselves from the perceived judgement they may receive by declaring themselves as such. To state to the world “I’m an artist!” takes courage & conviction. It leaves you open to that little voice that says “Who are you to be an artist?” To simply play at drawing means nobody really pays attention & somehow that feels safer.
If this doesn’t resonate, you may suffer from the second problem. You have WAY too many interests. You couldn’t possibly pick just one to do. What if you pick the wrong one & you end up wasting your time? From a young age, we’re told and conditioned to believe that we have to do/be one thing. From a very tender age we’re asked, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” & we’re always expected to give just one answer. Just one. If we dare to give more than one answer we’re told rather firmly that we’ll have to make up our minds, or pick one & this message gets stronger & stronger as we work through the school system. By the time we leave high school we’re expected to have a career plan because the next courses we do will have a direct link to our future plans. We’re encouraged, not to take courses because we love the subject, because the material lights us up & fills us with joy. No. We’re told to pick courses that will lead us to our desired career. Our ONE desired career.
Flitters or scanners find this process so very painful. We’re forced to pick just one thing. Just one! When our hearts are screaming “BUT THERE’S SO MUCH MORE!”. We settle. We’re miserable. We know the world is full of colour & magic, but we’re stuck in the grey, wondering why we can’t have it all. But there’s a secret nobody tells you………
YOU CAN. You can have it all. Want to be a writer & an artist and a musician and a business owner? You can do all of those things!
Write down all the things you want to do with your life & work out how and when you can fit all of those things in. What can you work towards for 30 minutes? What can you work towards in the evenings? What can you work towards at weekends? It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You can give your all to everything & as long as it’s something that lights you up, It won’t feel like work. Your heart & soul will swell with joy & happiness at your new found freedom. I’m not saying you have to jack in your job. After all we all need a way to pay rent & eat, but it doesn’t have to be as impossible as we’ve been lead to believe.
Take me for example. I’m a typical flitter. I have so many things I want to do with my life but as I have zero clue what that elusive one thing is I’m ‘supposed’ to do I’ve stayed frozen! After working with the wonderful Donna Higton in her Facebook group ‘Fall in love with life’, where we’re encouraged to check in with our mind, heart, body & soul to work out what we need/want & then to take steps to make things happen, I’ve actually thawed a bit & started moving! I’ve always been an all or nothing kind of gal but Donna encouraged us to take baby steps. She’d regularly ask “what’s the smallest thing you can do to make that happen?” & encouraged baby steps. These micro movements over the last two weeks have led me to do more than I have in an age! I’ve started creating art again (not very good art but we all have to start somewhere), I’ve started a Facebook page for a mini business venture, I’ve sorted my social media for my spiritual store, I’m writing this blog post. (I’ve done more than this, but you get the point)
The one thing that’s become apparent is something my Nan used to say to me. “A rolling stone gathers no moss”. Inertia creates inertia, movement creates movement. The more you do, the more you’ll want to but you have to take that first step and it needn’t be a huge, scary step. It can be the tiniest movement, followed by another tiny movement.
To quote Donna, what’s the smallest thing you can do? Work that out & go and do that.
It’ll be worth it. I promise.